Too Much Sugar
A fellow nurse at my hospital received a call from an anxious patient.
"I'm diabetic and I'm afraid I've had too much sugar today." the caller said.
"Are you light-headed?" my colleague asked.
"No," the caller answered, "I'm a brunette."
A fellow nurse at my hospital received a call from an anxious patient.
"I'm diabetic and I'm afraid I've had too much sugar today." the caller said.
"Are you light-headed?" my colleague asked.
"No," the caller answered, "I'm a brunette."
One Way Trip to Mars
NASA was interviewing professionals they were thinking of sending to Mars. The touchy part was that only one guy could go and it would be a one-way trip, the guy not ever returning to Earth.
The interviewer asked the first applicant, an engineer, how much he wanted to be paid for going. "One million dollars," the engineer answered. "And I want to donate it all to my alma mater--Rice University."
The next applicant was a doctor, and the interviewer asked him the same question. "Two millions dollars," the doctor said. "I want to give a million to my family and leave the other million for the advancement of medical research."
The last applicant was a lawyer. When asked how much money he wanted, he whispered in the interviewer's ear, "Three million dollars."
"Why so much more than the others?" the interviewer asked.
The lawyer replied, "You give me three million, I'll give you one million, I'll keep a million, and we'll send the engineer."
Mom's Time Out
My Parents had not been out together in quite some time.
One Saturday, as Mom was finishing the dinner dishes, my father stepped up
behind her.
"Would you like to go out, girl?" he asked.
Not even turning around, my mother quickly replied, "Oh, yes, I'd love to!"
They had a wonderful evening, and it wasn't until the end of it that Dad
confessed.
His question had actually been directed to the family dog, lying near Mom's
feet on the kitchen floor.
My Parents had not been out together in quite some time.
One Saturday, as Mom was finishing the dinner dishes, my father stepped up
behind her.
"Would you like to go out, girl?" he asked.
Not even turning around, my mother quickly replied, "Oh, yes, I'd love to!"
They had a wonderful evening, and it wasn't until the end of it that Dad
confessed.
His question had actually been directed to the family dog, lying near Mom's
feet on the kitchen floor.
Refrigerator Goals
When I returned home from college for a break, I noticed a paper posted on
the refrigerator. It listed some goals my dad had set for himself: Help wife
more; lose weight; be more productive at work.
I promptly added: "Send Michelle money every month."
A few days later my brother wrote: "Make payments on car for Jason."
Then my boyfriend joined in with: "Buy Tom a Jeep."
Finally my father added a new goal to his amended list: "Wean kids."
For The Kids...
Q: What do you get if you cross a woodpecker with a carrier pigeon?
A: A bird who knocks before delivering its message!
Q: What do you call a very rude bird?
A: A mockingbird!
Q: Where do birds meet for coffee?
A: In a nest-cafe!
Q: How does a bird with a broken wing manage to land safely?
A: With it's sparrowchute!
Q: What is green and pecks on trees?
A: Woody Wood Pickle!
Q: What happened when the owl lost his voice?
A: He didn't give a hoot!
Q: What do you call a Scottish parrot?
A: A Macaw!
Q: What do you call a bird that lives underground?
A: A mynah bird!
Q: What do you get if you cross a parrot with a centipede?
A: A great walkie-talkie!
Q: What do you get if you cross a woodpecker with a carrier pigeon?
A: A bird who knocks before delivering its message!
Q: What do you call a very rude bird?
A: A mockingbird!
Q: Where do birds meet for coffee?
A: In a nest-cafe!
Q: How does a bird with a broken wing manage to land safely?
A: With it's sparrowchute!
Q: What is green and pecks on trees?
A: Woody Wood Pickle!
Q: What happened when the owl lost his voice?
A: He didn't give a hoot!
Q: What do you call a Scottish parrot?
A: A Macaw!
Q: What do you call a bird that lives underground?
A: A mynah bird!
Q: What do you get if you cross a parrot with a centipede?
A: A great walkie-talkie!
source : http://www.arcamax.com/
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