Laughter Zone

Scriptures to encourage us that God laughs & likewise we should to...

 

A burglar got into a house one night. Shining his flashlight on the floor in the dark, he heard a voice saying, "Jesus is watching you."  He looked around nervously, shook his head, and kept looking for valuables. He again heard, "Jesus is watching you." This time, he shone his light all over, and it rested on a parrot. He asked, "Did you say that?" The parrot admitted that it had. "I'm just trying to warn you, that's all." The burglar said, "Warn me, huh? Who are you? What's your name?" "Moses." "Well, what kind of stupid people would name a parrot 'Moses'?" The bird answered, "I don't know; I guess the same folks who would name a Rottweiler 'Jesus'."

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An elderly woman had just returned to her home from an evening of religious service when she was startled by an intruder. As she caught the man in the act of robbing her home of its valuables, she yelled, "Stop....Acts 2:38!" (Repent and be baptized). The burglar stopped dead in his tracks. The woman calmly called the police and explained what she had done. As the officer handcuffed the man to take him in, he asked the burglar, "Why did you just stand there? All she did was yell a scripture to you." Scripture?", replied the burglar. "She said she had an AXE and two 38's!".

 

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A camper walking deep in the woods suddenly notices that he is being followed by a large grizzly bear!  He starts to run away but the bear begins to chase him. Realizing the bear is quickly closing in, the man offers up an emergency prayer: "Oh God, I know you have influenced animals in the Bible like Balaam's donkey, if there is any way that this bear can become more like a Christian, I would really appreciate it." As the final "amen" is said, the bear pounces on the man and pins him to the ground. But suddenly, the expression on the bear's face changes from that of anger to contentment, and the bear looks heavenward and places his paws reverently together, and starts to speak audibly just like Balaam's donkey, saying, "For this food we are about to receive, we give thanks."

 

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An Amish boy and his father were visiting a mall. They were amazed by almost everything they saw, but especially by two shiny, silver walls that could move apart and back together again. The boy asked his father, "What is this, Father?" The father responded, "Son, I have never seen anything like this in my life, I don't know what it is." While the boy and his father were watching an elderly lady in a wheel chair rolled up to the moving walls and pressed a button. The walls opened and the lady rolled between them into a small room. The walls closed and the boy and his father watched small circles of illuminated numbers above the walls light up. They continued to watch the circles light up in the reverse direction. The walls opened up again and a beautiful young lady stepped out.The father said to his son, "Quick! Go get your Mother. "

 

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A company, feeling it was time for a shake-up, hires a new CEO. This new boss is determined to rid the company of all slackers. On a tour of the facilities, the CEO notices a guy leaning on a wall. The room is full of workers and he thinks this is his chance to show everyone he means business! The CEO, walks up the guy and asks, "And how much money do you make a week?"  Undaunted, the young fellow looks at him and replies, "I make $200.00 a week. Why?" The CEO then hands the guy $200 in cash and screams, "Here's a week's pay. Now GET OUT and don't come back!" Feeling pretty good about his first cleansing of a slacker, the CEO looks around the room and asks, "Does anyone want to tell me what that slacker was doing here?" With a sheepish grin, one of the other workers mutters, "Delivering pizza."

 

Taken from : BLESSED HOPE MINISTRIES