A wife was making a breakfast of fried eggs for her husband.
Suddenly, her husband burst into the kitchen.
"Careful," he said, "CAREFUL! Put in some more butter!
Oh my GOD! You're cooking too many at once.
TOO MANY! Turn them! TURN THEM NOW!
We need more butter. Oh my GOD!
WHERE are we going to get MORE BUTTER?
They're going to STICK! Careful . CAREFUL!
I said be CAREFUL!
You NEVER listen to me when you're cooking! Never!
Turn them! Hurry up! Are you CRAZY?
Have you LOST your mind?
Don't forget to salt them.
"Careful," he said, "CAREFUL! Put in some more butter!
Oh my GOD! You're cooking too many at once.
TOO MANY! Turn them! TURN THEM NOW!
We need more butter. Oh my GOD!
WHERE are we going to get MORE BUTTER?
They're going to STICK! Careful . CAREFUL!
I said be CAREFUL!
You NEVER listen to me when you're cooking! Never!
Turn them! Hurry up! Are you CRAZY?
Have you LOST your mind?
Don't forget to salt them.
You know you always forget to salt them.
Use the salt. USE THE SALT! THE SALT!"
The wife stared at him. "What in the world is wrong with you?
The wife stared at him. "What in the world is wrong with you?
You think I don't know how to fry a couple of eggs?"
The husband calmly replied, "I just wanted to show you what it feels like when I'm driving."
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The husband calmly replied, "I just wanted to show you what it feels like when I'm driving."
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The Most Important Discoveries
Man discovered weapons, invented hunting.
Woman discovered hunting, invented furs.
Man discovered colors, invented painting.
Woman discovered painting, invented make-up.
Man discovered speech, invented conversation.
Woman discovered conversation, invented gossip.
Man discovered agriculture, invented food.
Woman discovered food, invented diet.
Man discovered friendship, invented love.
Woman discovered love, invented marriage.
Man discovered trade, invented money.
Woman discovered money, man has never recovered
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A FOOLish man tells a woman to STOP talking,
but a WISE man tells her that she looks
extremely BEAUTIFUL when her LIPS are CLOSED.
One GOOD way to REDUCE Alcohol consumption:
Before Marriage - Drink whenever you are SAD
After Marriage - Drink whenever you are HAPPY
Three FASTEST means of Communication:
1. Tele-Phone
2. Tele-Vision
3. Tell to Woman
Need still FASTER - Tell her NOT to tell ANY ONE.
Love your friends not their sisters.
One GOOD way to REDUCE Alcohol consumption:
Before Marriage - Drink whenever you are SAD
After Marriage - Drink whenever you are HAPPY
Three FASTEST means of Communication:
1. Tele-Phone
2. Tele-Vision
3. Tell to Woman
Need still FASTER - Tell her NOT to tell ANY ONE.
Love your friends not their sisters.
Love your sisters not their friends.
A man got 2 wishes from GOD.
A man got 2 wishes from GOD.
He asked for the Best wine and Best Woman.
Next moment, he had the Best Wine and Mother Teresa next to him.
Moral: BE SPECIFIC
What is a BEST and WORST news you can hear at the SAME time?
It is when your Girl Friend says YOU are the BEST KISSER among all your Friends.
Let us be generous like this:
Next moment, he had the Best Wine and Mother Teresa next to him.
Moral: BE SPECIFIC
What is a BEST and WORST news you can hear at the SAME time?
It is when your Girl Friend says YOU are the BEST KISSER among all your Friends.
Let us be generous like this:
Four Ants are moving through a forest.
They see an ELEPHANT coming towards them.
Ant 1 says: we should KILL him.
Ant 2 says: No, Let us break his Leg alone.
Ant 3 says: No, we will just throw him away from our path.
Ant 4 says: No, we will LEAVE him because he is ALONE and we are FOUR.
If you do NOT have a Girl Friend - You are missing SOME thing in your life.
If you HAVE a Girl Friend - You are missing EVERY thing in your life.
Question: When do you CONGRATULATE someone for his or her MISTAKE.
Answer: On their MARRIAGE.
When your LIFE is in DARKNESS,
They see an ELEPHANT coming towards them.
Ant 1 says: we should KILL him.
Ant 2 says: No, Let us break his Leg alone.
Ant 3 says: No, we will just throw him away from our path.
Ant 4 says: No, we will LEAVE him because he is ALONE and we are FOUR.
If you do NOT have a Girl Friend - You are missing SOME thing in your life.
If you HAVE a Girl Friend - You are missing EVERY thing in your life.
Question: When do you CONGRATULATE someone for his or her MISTAKE.
Answer: On their MARRIAGE.
When your LIFE is in DARKNESS,
PRAY GOD and asks him to free you from Darkness.
Even after you pray, if U R still in Darkness
Even after you pray, if U R still in Darkness
Please PAY the ELECTRICITY BILL !!!
Why Government do NOT allow a Man to MARRY 2 Women.
Because per Constitution, you can NOT PUNISH TWICE for the same Mistake
Why Government do NOT allow a Man to MARRY 2 Women.
Because per Constitution, you can NOT PUNISH TWICE for the same Mistake
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